Protect yourself from Romance Fraud this Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day don’t let scammers steal your heart—or your money. Romance fraud is a growing concern in Sussex, with over 600 cases reported last year, leading to losses of more than £7 million. While anyone can be a target, most victims are over 50, and nearly half are men.

Fraudsters use dating sites, social media, and even in-person encounters to gain trust before moving conversations to less monitored platforms like WhatsApp and Telegram. They spend weeks or months building an emotional connection before asking for money—a manipulation tactic known as ‘the grooming period.’ Payments often involve bank transfers, but scammers are increasingly requesting gift cards like iTunes vouchers.

Real-Life Case: A Costly Deception

In March 2022, Sarah (not the victim's real name) accepted a friend request in a Facebook group for dog lovers, which quickly developed into a romantic relationship. The scammer, claiming to be an overseas engineer and oil rig contractor, gained her trust before inventing financial struggles, including frozen assets and medical emergencies.

Initially, Sarah sent small amounts, often purchasing Apple iTunes vouchers at his request. Over time, the demands escalated. Believing she was helping with urgent medical bills, she took out a £32,000 mortgage, secured a £12,000 bank loan, sold shares, borrowed from family, and pawned jewellery. The deception deepened when a supposed doctor contacted her, requesting funds for the scammer’s “daughter,” who was allegedly in a coma.

Her family eventually uncovered the fraud, and the case was reported to the police. She is now receiving support from a Victim Support Caseworker.

Bernadette Lawrie BEM, Financial Abuse Safeguarding Officer for Sussex and Surrey Police, said: “This is a horrible crime type, preying on people when they are at their most vulnerable.  The fraudsters manipulate and isolate their victims, often encouraging secrecy from family members which can result in a breakdown of their support network.  The impact is far more than financial, with victims suffering long term effects to their physical and mental wellbeing”.

To stay safe follow the D.A.T.E.S. Rule

• Don’t rush into online relationships.
• Analyse profiles for inconsistencies.
• Talk to trusted friends and family.
• Evade scammers—never send money or share financial details.
• Stay on secure dating platforms.

Never send money, share personal documents, or transfer funds on behalf of someone you’ve only met online. If you or someone you know has been affected, peer support services are available:

Email [email protected] or call 0303 313 2955.

By staying alert and informed, you can protect yourself from romance scams and help others do the same.